Sunday, February 26, 2017

Tryin' to Guess Death Battle: Scrooge McDuck VS Shovel Knight

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“Money Can’t Buy Everything”


The Earth really is a vast place, isn’t it? No matter how much of it mankind puts on the map, there always seems to be something new to discover. Breathtaking landscapes, magnificent treasures, puzzling mysteries and pulse-pounding adventures… It’s all out there, waiting for those brave few willing to seek them out.




… Wait.


Have we been here before? I feel like we’ve been here before.


… Yep, we’ve definitely been here before.


Um, Pogo-Sticks! The ultimate, erm… No, that sucks.


Dwarves! Nope, nope, that’s not- That wouldn’t do for a connection. Dammit, this is hard…




Man, fuck sorceresses…?


Scrooge McDuck, billionaire adventurer of the McDuck Clan!


          Shovel Knight, treasure-hunting dispenser of shovel justice!


I’m Meddadius! I take care of backstories, visual effects, and overall charm summaries. My buddy, Thomasj3-Shura, takes care of calculations and bullet points! And together, it’s our unofficial job to analyze everything anyone would possibly need to know about these two characters in order to try and predict who would win a Death Battle!


As before, for anyone new to this sort of thing, here’s a handy-dandy link to a blog filled with versus-debating terminology. Our hope is that you won’t need it to understand everything, but if you do, well, who would we be to deny you of it?




Scrooge McDuck
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“Life is but a hurricaaane, here in! Duckburg! Race cars, lasers, aeroplaaaanes, it’s a! Duck blur!~” Come on, Tommy, back me up here!
No, none of that, shame on you.
So, I guess the back-up plan of us becoming a roadside duet if this blog doesn’t work out won’t work out, huh? Shame.
Just get to the backstory would you.


Fiiine.


“Scrooge.” Ever since the famous tale of an old man being haunted by three holiday ghosts first hit the press, the word “scrooge” has become synonymous with a greedy, penny-pinching, cheapskate of an individual who loves their money much more than they should. So when the last member of the prestigious McDuck clan was given the name of Scrooge… well, his parents had to have known what was coming, right?


To be fair, though, it was probably what they wanted. You see, the McDucks had been in a serious decline for the past few generations. They had been pushed off of their land, their once-glorious castle in Scotland had turned to ruin, and the remaining clansmen were now reduced to poverty. All that Scrooge’s father wanted was for his son to make something of himself, so he got the ten-year-old duck a job cleaning off a pair of muddy shoes. It was back-breaking work, but in the end, Scrooge was rewarded for his efforts with a shiny dime!


A shiny… American dime.


A shiny, American dime… in Scotland.


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This was the first lesson out of many for Scrooge McDuck, and it was the one that kickstarted his lifetime of wealth-seeking across the globe. He was going to be rich, dammit, and no force on Earth was going to stop him from doing it fairly! Whether it was a savannah filled with ravenous beasts, the combined might of Theodore Roosevelt and the Rough Riders, or beings on the fucking moon, all would come to either respect or fear the legend of Scrooge McDuck.


However, Scrooge’s epic also came with its fair share of heartbreak and betrayals, and these would eventually come to transform the once-idealistic duck into a bitter, ruthless, and broken individual. Now in his old age, Scrooge sat in a lavish mansion that rivaled the castle of his ancestors… but he did it by himself.


That is, until Scrooge’s nephew Donald (yes, the Donald Duck) barged into his life with his own nephews, Huey, Duey, and Luey. It would take some time, but they would be the ones to inspire Scrooge to adventure once more. More importantly, he would come to realize that family and friends, not money, were what truly mattered most.


… He still fucking loves his money, though.


Equipment


- His number one dime (said to be a good luck charm, also improves the potency of magic, but Scrooge is not a wizard, so that doesn’t really matter)
- A hyperspace pocket
- A musket rifle
- Some revolvers
- His cane- Which he can use like a pogo stick (the only thing he consistently carries with him)
- An iron adaptor upgrade for his cane (allowing him to break stronger materials with his pogo jump)
- Hammer adaptor-Allows his golf swing move to break stronger materials
- Power adaptor-allows him to pull larger objects
- Assorted survival gear: Including a bowie knife, a pickaxe, rope, etc.
-Masked Mallard equipment- Equipment he uses while taking on the role of masked vigilante as the masked mallard:
- Shock Buckle
- A cane with a laser on it, as well as a rocket (@16:30)
- A malldarang
- Nuclear tweezers (@7:40)
- A magnetic gun (@9:04) (never used again after being destroyed)
- (He also destroys the suit (and presumably the gadgets) at the end of the episode)
-Other one-off equipment
- The Omnisolve umbrella- Dissolves matter (he finds it too dangerous to use, doesn’t have it)
(And many other items that he used once and then just forgot about/destroyed/etc..)

Skills and abilities

- He is a competent escape artist
- Is a surprisingly skilled marksman
- Received some degree of fencing training (@4:00)
- Developed the ability to swim in money. Can also swim in diamonds (@20:50)
- Has seemingly memorized the serial number of every bill he owns (@12:34)



Strength
- Lifts a barbell with multiple plates
- His pacing around in circles in his worry room makes him dig into the ground over time (@13:23)
- Can lift a tree
- Hits a rock hard enough to send it flying upwards, dislodging ice
- Can shatter rocks with his cane (That’s about 22-45 Megajoules of energy, or small building level)
- Tears down smokestacks
- Swims through quicksand (at 10:00).
- With help, manages to briefly prevent a plane that was upgraded with jet engines from taking off (the help was from 3 kids so he was likely doing most of the work)
- Pulls a pillar larger than himself
- After numerous hits, manages to break a statue’s stone head.
- Capable of harming enemies who can swim in lava
- Easily beats a bunch of prisoners at arm wrestling (@12:00) (one of which participated in an arm wrestling championship (@16:07) )
- Fought a shark (@17:05)

Speed
- Can dodge thrown spears
- Has a power up that also makes him move faster
- Briefly outruns a lion and an elephant then jumps higher than them
- Matches the speed of a cannonball.
- Can move at somewhat comparable speeds to Gizmo Duck’s missiles
- Moves fast enough to run out of sight before his bag hits the ground
- Seems to somewhat evade bullets from a large distance (@16:48)
- Evades a tank shell (@10:30) (first instance is aimdodging, the bounce back shot is normal dodging)
- Huey, Dewey, Louie and Scrooge seem to somewhat evade bullets (@9:30 and beyond)
- Dodges a rifle bullet (@15:00)

Durability
- Survives a plane crash, and again. And again. It happens a lot.
- Survives in outer space, doe he does have access to oxygen.
- Gets struck by lightning
- Gets struck by lightning and falls into water while in heavy armor
- Survives a large fall into ice
- Survives orbital re-entry inside his money bin. (that’s 563 Megajoules, which is Small building+) (alternatively, here (@18:00))
- Survives some rocks falling on him
- Survives getting hit with some comets (that’s 8 megajoules)
-Tanks a cannon and some land mines
- Can survive hits from a giant dracula duck
- Survives a huge explosion (that’s about 162 Tons of TNT)
- Survives the arctic cold for a very long time with nothing but a shirt (@12:00)
- Survives a house made of ice collapsing on him (@15:30)
- Survives dynamite explosion (@16:25)


Weaknesses
- Insanely greedy at times
- Mostly focused on making a profit/exploring rather than fighting meaning he isn’t as experienced in it as he could be
- Age has deteriorated his physical abilities
- Occasionally suffers from rheumatism
- In the cartoon, almost never actually fights


Misc.


- Scrooge’s penis can be calculated to be around 22.84 centimeters long (or likely 0 if it’s already fallen off)


Shovel Knight
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Allow me to spin you a tale of an adventurer clad in blue, of a noble knight wielding a mighty shovel. His name was Shovel Knight (because what else are you going to call him?), and he traveled the land with his partner, an equally badass knight with a shield… known as Shield Knight. This naming convention isn’t going anywhere, so you might as well get used to it.


The knights of shovel and shield were a groundbreaking team, a dynamic duo who could seemingly dig their way through any obstacle (both figuratively and literally)… until they were faced with the Tower of Fate. On that fateful day, while the two were exploring the dungeon, a cursed amulet unleashed its unspeakable evil. Shovel Knight blacked out, and he awoke outside of the now-sealed tower… minus his beloved Shield Knight. Brokenhearted, our hero retired, never to adventure again…


That is, until an evil being known as the Enchantress started taking over the land with her dark magic… coincidentally unsealing the Tower of Fate. And so, his spirit unearthed once more, Shovel Knight ventured out to face the Enchantress and her Order Of No Quarter, which hosted such mighty warriors as Specter Knight…
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… King Knight…


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… and Polar Knight.


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But to Shovel Knight, it didn’t matter how many foes he had to face. He would rescue the lands, find out what happened to Shield Knight, and fight to uphold the good code of shovelry!


… You get it?


“No one in this world, can you trust, Shovel Knight. Not man, not woman, not beast… but this?”
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“This, you can trust.”


There are two things I know. One, that reference was forced. Two, Shovel Knight’s Shovel Blade is far more than the mere toy you see above. Hell, it’s better than any shovel known to man! With this mighty farming equipment, Shovel Knight can strike the earth so hard that can create a projectile spark attack, raise heaps of dirt in a single swing, and… hop around on enemies like a pogo sti-


I hate to question the logic of shovelry and anything attached to it. Really, I do. But you see, the cane acting as a pogo stick is bad enough. But remember that this shovel is part sword. So answer me this:


How does shovel… plus sword… equal BOUNCE?
(The most likely explanation is that it originates in interactive electronic entertainment)


… Video game logic. Got it.


-Relics- That he acquires through the game and can use at the cost of magic, including:
- Flare Wand- Sends out a flaming projectile
- Phase Locket- Grants temporary intangibility, he can still attack while intangible
- Alchemy Coin- Transmutes enemies into coins
- Throwing Anchor- Throws out a projectile in an arc
- Chaos Sphere- Bouncing projectile that damages enemies it makes contact with
- Dust Knuckles- Used for punching stuff
- Propeller Dagger- Allows one to dash in mid-air with a dagger thrust
- War Horn- Sends a damaging shockwave in all directions
- Fishing Rod- Used for fishing and general fetching, as well as wrecking enemies
- Mobile Gear- Serves as a transportation device, which always him to roll right over hazards


Shovel Knight also carries chalices of ichor (pronounced “eye-core”), which is basically liquid magic bestowed upon him by none other than… the Troupple King!

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ALL HAIL THE TROUPPLE KING! THE KING OF FISH AND FRUIT! LONG MAY HIS STEM GROW!!!


… Ahem. Anyways, Shovel Knight can carry 2 of these chalices at a time, and fill them up with whatever mixture of three kinds of ichor he wants.
- Ichor of Renewal- Restores health and magic
- Ichor of Boldness- Grants invincibility for 10 seconds
- Ichor of Fortune- Nearby treasure is absorbed for 60 seconds


-Armors
- Stalwart Plate- His iconic and standard blue armor
- Final Guard- Red armour that halves the amount of gold dropped upon death
- Ornate Plate- Golden armor that changes the jump animation
- Conjurer’s Coat-  Reduces maximum defense, but increases maximum magic and absorbs magic from defeated enemies.
- Dynamo Mail- Performing 2 consecutive shovel drops will instantly charge a shovel attack
- Mail of Momentum- Removes knockback from damage but increases momentum, making it hard to stop moving
- Toad Gear- Gained after sparring with the battletoads, grants access to some new moves
- Armor of Chaos- Gained after beating Kratos, unlocks new moves


-Amiibo relics, abilities and costumes
- Gained from using Amiibos, unlikely to be useable in a DB scenario, but in case you’re wondering about it. The most notable one is Shadow Knight which allows him to create an intangible clone in front of him that copies his movements.

Skills and abilities
- Can hold his breath for an extremely long period of time
- Can defeat the entire Order of No Quarter 1 by 1 in succession
- As demonstrated in his boss fight in Plague of Shadows, he has a surprisingly large supply of magic to use for his relics


Strength
- Can shatter a skull
- Can destroy huge sections of catacomb walls, or various other kinds of walls
- Can pulverize tombstones
- Can obliterate metal blockades
- Even someone physically weak like Tinker Knight can support the weight of 6 members of the Order of No Quarter. And Spectre Knight can support the entire Order of No Quarter
- Fights on par with the Battletoads, who can slam into the ground so hard they crumble it
- Matches Kratos who can tear down and destroy chunks of pillars and land on a temple hard enough to completely destroy it



Speed
- Can casually parry and outspeed missiles of varying sizes
- Can casually outrun cannonballs
- Can outspeed the cloud to ground lightning that strikes Baz and Phantom striker (moving at Mach 638)
- Matches the speed of Black Knight’s meteors (moving at 4% the speed of light)


Durability
- Can survive getting hit by giant cannonballs
- Can survive getting launched across the map by a catapult (that’s 173 megajoules)
- Can survive missiles
- Can survive bomb explosions
- Can survive a fall long enough for a battle to happen during it with ease
- Can tank hits from an amped Black Knight, who can call down meteors (Which are packing a grand total of 5.5 Gigatons of energy)
- Tanks hits from the Remnant of Fate, the Amulet’s power made manifest which is responsible for the clouds around the tower (The movement of the clouds requires the equivalent of 30 gigatons of TNT)
- Comparable to Shield Knight, who can survive the Tower of Fate collapsing on her (which released at least the equivalent of 6 kilotons of TNT in seismic energy)


Weaknesses
- Cannot harm ghosts without the use of environmental items
- His relics run on a limited (though still rather large) supply of magic (though, as shown by his boss fight in Plague of Shadows, he can easily surpass 100 magic limit, potentially spending the equivalent of 230 (credit to SuperSmash94 for testing this) )


Misc.
- Is buff as fuck
- Is a skilled comedian
- Chicks dig the shovel


Summary

Scrooge McDuck
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Advantages:
+Richer
+Possibly more experience
+Anti-inertia gun, omnisolve and other one time weaponry could prove useful


Disadvantages
-Said weapons were fairly one-time and definitely not something he’d usually have on him
-Far Weaker
-Way slower
-Less durable
-Likely less range (barring one time weaponry)
-Greed makes him extra vulnerable to the Alchemy Coin (because it it’s made of gold).
-Most of his ranged weaponry would not actually be all that effective against someone like shovel knight
- His dick could fall off
Shovel Knight
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Advantages:
+Stronger
+Faster
+More durable
+More ranged weaponry (kinda)
+Has more equipment on him at any given time
+Actually wears armor
+Phase locket intangibility
+Can heal himself
+Likely has more experience in 1-on-1 combat and fights far more regularly
+Has fought people (Black Knight) with similar and more expansive movesets than Scrooge
+Alchemy Coin is extremely useful against someone like Scrooge
+Can actually use his dick without losing it

Disadvantages
-His supply of magic, while large, is still limited


VERDICTS


Meddadius
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Please, Death Battle… Please just get this one right. I have faith in you. Optimism. Scrooge is a surprisingly quality character (going by his comics, anyways)... but so is Shovel Knight. Minus the “surprisingly,” because it’s fucking Shovel Knight. You should just look at him, and go:


“MMM! I can dig this!”


More importantly, though, Shovelry should take nine-inh-duck penis.


Considering that Scrooge has been kicking ass and going on adventures for more than 80 years, and we have no indication how long Shovel Knight’s been at it, I think it’s fair to give Scrooge the edge in overall experience. However, Shovel Knight has shown himself to be superior in combat experience. While Scrooge was a pretty good brawler back in the day, and has encountered some… unique adversaries with his nephews, he prefers to think his way out of sticky situations with the latter group (especially considering his age). Meanwhile, Shovel Knight encounters all sorts of different fighting styles and magical abilities with the Order of No Quarter, and still able to emerge the victor in a direct confrontation.


So, the knight has more skill, but does he have the stats necessary to bury this duck? Survey says yes. Scrooge is a badass, don’t get me wrong. But even disregarding Tommy’s calcs (for some strange reason), you still have Shovel Knight blatantly dodging lightning from both Baz and Phantom Striker, and tanking hits from the Remnant of Fate. After fighting both the entire Order of No Quarter AND the Enchantress, mind you. Then, there’s the whole thing with Black Knight’s meteors. All of those are obviously more impressive than what Scrooge has done, and again, that’s without going into the calculations.


Really, the only chance Scrooge has of victory is with things such as the Omnisolve. But since he destroyed the thing…


Okay, I’ll be honest with you guys. It’s been a long month of people arguing over this match. I’m done talking about it. I’ve said what needed to be said. I’m looking forward to the animation, and praying for Shovelry’s victory. Also, having a fight I’d just be neutral on would be nice. Yeah. One without one of my favorite video game characters.


CAN YOU DIG IT?!


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Thomasj3-shura
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Anyway, Shit matchup, SK obliterates, moving o-
K, I suppose that’s not gonna fly is it? Let’s break this down shall we?
Stats-wise, it’s pretty straightforward. Shovel knight has a pretty freaking clear cut advantage in all stats. Even if we deliberately ignore context or abuse physics to make Scrooge’s feats out to be more impressive than they actually are, this remains the case.
So let’s move onto other areas, because while they matter very little here, there’s still some controversy surrounding them for some reason. Mainly, equipment. From what I’ve seen, I’d say Shovel knight actually has a solid advantage in this area. He has range and area-of-effect options that would actually be effective (via Flare Wand and Warhorn respectively), intangibility (via Phase Locket), more than enough magic to use this for quite a large number of time, as well as self healing (via Ichor), and most controversially, transmutation via the alchemy coin.
Now under certain circumstances, this wouldn’t be all that useful, since to actually turn something into coins, it seems to need skin contact to work. And people might decide to not touch the thing. However, this is Scrooge “swims in money and risks his life to get gold on a regular basis” Mcduck he’s fighting.
To put it simply, SK could obliterate Scrooge and by all accounts all he’d need to do to is say “Catch” then toss the thing at Scrooge. Heck, multiple episodes have entire plots based around “Scrooge finds gold/valuable object, and touches/uses it without realizing it’s magic". Even disregarding that, SK’s greater speed means Scrooge doesn't have a choice in the matter.
….
Fine, let’s talk about the one time weapon shit. Firstly, SK has a speed advantage and methods of one-shotting, meaning even if Scrooge gets them, it won’t matter. Secondly, he not only never carries them on himself but some of them he finds too dangerous to use. And finally, I feel there’s a certain degree of No limits fallacy going on with them.
Basically, using any of it would make about as much sense as letting his nephews have the time-stopping stop-watch as standard equipment.

I would extrapolate further but this verdict is long enough as is.
Now if you excuse me I need to go purge the Ducktales theme from my brain. By watching something else.



Special thanks to:
-Super smash for reasons stated above
-ShadMorgen, for providing Shovel Knight links. And stuff. Things.

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